That girl is who I used to be...

The college student that stayed out late, going from club to club with my girls, drinking til we were silly.  Many nights we would drink before going to parties (to escape reality before we arrived).  The entire purpose was to escape reality for a little while.  Full-time work and school was hard, toss in the new responsibility of paying bills for the first time.  Then there was that freedom part!  For the first time in life, there were no parents barking rules and curfews.  It was the beginning of this road called "adult life".  It began with searching.  Searching for EVERYTHING!  It was fun at the time.  Wow, so many valuable lessons learned.  

After many months of the same routine (different friends sometimes but same lifestyle)  I found myself burned out.  The long nights of parties and escaping reality left me empty.  I needed more. I needed solid foundation and truth.  My heart's desire was changing. rather than escaping reality, I needed reality to be fulfilling and reliable.  A suntan and good hair cut with some highlights made me feel great, but just for a small time.  Then I was back there again, longing for fulfillment.  The emptiness was a nagging feeling, but never overwhelming, just enough to to keep me searching for more.  I remember thinking "surely this can't be it, their just has to be more that life has to offer".  I always knew their was a God and He sent Jesus to pay for my sins but that was it.  I didn't pray or anything.  Until this one night, I was confused, and lying in my bed unable to rest.  I prayed for God to direct my life.  I had tried all I knew, found nothing good enough to satisfy my yearning for solid happiness/contentment.  I needed truth, and I needed it to LAST!  

The following week I was studying at Barnes & Noble when I saw a box of books marked 50% off, the first book i saw was a bible so I opened it up and began to read.  The content was beautiful.  I only had $15 and the bible was most of that, so I thought  "alright God, I'm giving all I've got in an attempt to know You more."  That was the beginning of my walk with Jesus. The bible changed my life.  Jesus changed my life!  He gave me a lasting love and a solid certainty that nothing this world  has to  offer.  And not only is it enough, its MORE than enough!  The way He has changed me can be comparable to the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly.  I couldn't go back if I tried.  His faithfulness never fails and His word is a solid foundation we can depend on.  He reveals Himself to us when we put our faith in Him.  It's been a journey, I haven't changed over night, it's a growing process.  It is an awesome life when Jesus leads.  I'm in awe at His love, and it is absolutely amazing each time I watch it happening in another persons life.  It's nothing short of Godly!

Scrolling through all the "status updates" that my facebook friends post is always entertaining!  I'm blessed to have the opportunity to keep up with everyone's lives with such simplicity.  It's also true though that the materialistic things that people spend so much of their time and money on, remind me of that time in my life, when I was searching for fulfillment and satisfaction.  It breaks my heart in such a personal way because that was me! I remember trying to have the perfect clothes, hair, tan and sunglasses.  Today I feel foolish spending a lot of money on fancy brand names and tanning bed visits.  It is a temporary solution to a very real need.  God put that need in each of our hearts so that we will keep searching until we find Him!  His truth is free, and you can use your money to donate to organizations that help people in need (real needs) instead of spending it on making yourself feel good for a small time.  Do you know how good it feels to give your last couple of dollars to a begger on the street?  It feels wonderful!  And they are grateful too:)  Theat start gratification is easier though, tan, get a pedicure and some highlights, they are good enough to satisfy and don't take much time to do (unlike learninthan out Jesus) but when your roots start growing in and your tan fades before pay day, you'll find yourself empty again.  It reminds me of what Mathew said:
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14