February has always been a special month for me, it's the month I busted out of my Mommy's womb! Until this morning, I never considered the intense discomfort I must have endured. Rather than relying on my *Mom's warm comfort & abundant nutrients, I came out into the world naked, hungry, and crying (trying out my new lungs of course, they proved to be healthy)
Exactly 32 years (to the day) after I departed from the comfort of my Mom's womb, God saw fit to take home the second most influential character of all my life. My Mother and I had to burry her Daddy aka my Pappy. To me, no one could possibly understand my pain (just like when I was naked and crying after being delivered out of the womb). My heart was completely broken and unable to comprehend all of the sorrow. So what did I do? You guessed it, I tried my lungs... for many months (again, they proved to be very healthy lungs)
You see, because I spent so much of my time with Pappy, I had the opportunity to share my unanswered life-questions, concerns, frustrations, uncertainty, brokenness ect. Pappy always had a bible scripture (by memory) to provide Godly wisdom and encouragement. I was not interested in reading the bible because it made very little sense to me. Nevertheless, when Pappy applied scripture to my circumstances, it made perfect sense! Looking back, now it's clear to me that God used Pappy to bring HIS holy word to life inside my heart and mind.
When Pappy's absence started to become more of a reality, my happy days became fewer and fewer. It felt very much like I was lacking nutrients (Gods word). Without Pappy quoting scripture to me daily, I became lost in my own sad thoughts. The enemy took full advantage of the circumstance by steeling all hope and joy from my heart. Because I was spiritually dry, and withering down from lack of spiritual nutrients I was vulnerable (Much like after the umbilical cord was cut, my little body still required nutrients!) Thank God for my amazing Mom who stood ready to introduce & provide my fragile new body with the "new norm" for my nutritional needs *milk. She was still in pain & discomfort after delivering baby Tina) regardless of her situation, only one thing topped her priority list... NURTURING ME! This is how she operates. And so, even though she was also hurting from the loss of her "Daddy" She recognized my brokenness and made it top priority to comfort and NURTURE ME back to good spiritual health by prayer and turning to God for comfort. Much like she did the on the first day of my life, she presented to me the "new norm" but this time it was concerning my Spiritual nutrition! My spiritual walk with God needed to be first. She taught me about the absolute imperativeness of learning scripture for myself and along the way she's provided me with detailed concepts from Gods word. She has always taught me about the love of Jesus but Because I was Pappy's caregiver for so long, I slowly become attached to his umbilical cord (just an analogy) and turned to him for biblical principles, truths and facts.
I can remember a comment Justin made a few days before Pappy went to be with Jesus. He said "I was thinking about how difficult it must be to have to say 'goodbye' after learning from and caring for Pappy all these years. But the time has come for the student to become the teacher". It brings a lump to my throat just remembering those words, but he couldn't have been more right. I shared that statement with Pappy just days before his departure and he smiled and said "I did the best I could do".
I haven't shared these thoughts with a single person until now. I hope someone will be blessed by my story. If not, at least you'll be able to understand a part of my journey.
The last scripture Pappy ever read out loud I am posting below because I can't think of a single bible scripture that is more important!
*John 14:6
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
Beautiful story Tina!
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